On September 17, I went to my fertility doctor to have an ultrasound of my ovaries to see if they had any healthy follicles. He first looked at my right ovary and noticed I had one follicle on that ovary and it looked to be healthy and it was at 22 mm. ( I think this is a good size but what do I really know?) He then looked at my left ovary and noticed I had a healthy follicle on that one as well and it was at 21 mm. He seemed a little shocked that I had two healthy follicles on both ovaries so of course I had to ask him what that meant. "Mrs. Jolly are you OK with having twins?" GULP!
Brad and I have ALWAYS joked about having twins and naming them Hunter and Fischer...well mostly Brad, those are not my names of choice but it has always been an inside joke for us. So as I am currently in my two week waiting period, all I can think about is the possibility of our little Hunter & Fischer. The doctor told me Brad and I more than likely would not need to have an IUI to have a baby. So we did not have that procedure this month. But should I have pushed the issue? What if this is our chance at our dream of twins and we miss it?
I can't seem to get my mind to stop racing! I think about our possibilities day and night and a week from today I should know where we stand this month. That also is a scary thought. Today I am hopefully but in just a few short days I could be crushed again. I have been reading daily devotionals trying to get myself in the right place with my relationship with God. It is helping. I have finally found myself talking to God again and having faith that we will become parents; but I still have that fear of failure...will that ever go away?
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